The Chanticleer

4 for 4: Pun-a-licious

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As a special Valentine’s Day treat, the four editors of The Chanticleer have written about a few of the things that they love. Here’s Sports Editor Daniel Mayes:

What is love?

Baby don’t hurt me. Don’t hurt me. No more. (Just Kidding).

What is love?

Love is… an open dooooooooooor. (Just kidding again).

But what is love?

I suppose it has different meanings for everyone. And even in every individual person, there is different meanings for the word as well. So to answer describe what love means to me, here are some things I love:

I love my family. I love my girlfriend. I love my pets. I love basketball. I love Star Wars. I love chicken wings. I love…

Boring? Boring.

So, how else can I talk about love? I know! I’ll choose one random as heck thing and talk about why and how much I love it.

I LOVE PUNS!

As you may or may not be aware, there is a section of puns on page three of the Chanticleer. Yeah, that’s me. Hold your applause till the end. Those who know me well know of my love of puns, including editor-in-chief Katie Cline, which was why I was offered the chance to have my puns appear in the newspaper in the first place (ever thankful). But why do I love puns?

Well, there are several reasons. I love the intellect and cleverness that goes behind the best ones. Nothing is more satisfying for me than hearing a well-crafted, thought out pun that makes some obscure connection between words that I’ve never thought of before. And I’m not saying that my puns are like that. Oh no, most of the time they are quite the opposite.

See, another reason I love puns is the looks of mixed exasperation and horror and disgust and cringe that I get when I unleash an especially gnarly pun for my friends. Sure, I love to get laughs too, but nothing beats the looks on their faces when I tell them that I went to the clearance section of a store but only found opaque ants. That look, it’s like fuel for me. That and the audible groaning, the “You aren’t allowed to ever speak again,” and the “Daniel, you make my ears bleed.” That’s good stuff.

I love when I think of one of those grotesquely hilarious puns and some random point throughout the day, and then I crack myself up to the point that I uncontrollably spasm with laughter for hours on end until I can find someone to release my creation upon. Sometimes people ask me why I’m laughing so much. Most of the time they regret it by the time I get finished telling them about experts on largemouth bass being called an o-fish-ionado.

So there you have it. Possibly the most profound explanation of love ever. With me raving about puns.

Sometimes I a-Mayes even myself.

(I am grinning with delight as I imagine the pained cringe-faces on everyone who reads this.)

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